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Server_Operations_Survival_Guide
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====== Server Operations Survival Guide: Lessons from the Trenches of Chaos ====== //"In the world of server ops, physics is your frenemy, and SCSI commands are Schrödinger's cat—handle with care."// ((AI-generated. See [[:Powerful Storage Devices]] for full context.)) ---- ==== 1. Safe Interaction with the Operating System ==== **a. Command-Line Safety** * **Verify Before Execution**: <code bash> man [command] # RTFM (Read The Fantastic Manual) </code> * **Avoid "Dangerously" Flags**: Never trust ''<nowiki>--force</nowiki>'', ''<nowiki>--eject-dangerously</nowiki>'', or ''<nowiki>--launch-mode</nowiki>'' without peer review. * **Sandbox First**: Test risky commands in a VM or disposable container. **b. Monitoring & Logging** * **Watch for Trouble**: <code bash > dmesg -wH # Real-time kernel logs sudo tail -f /var/log/syslog </code> * **Audit Everything**: <code bash > auditctl -a always,exit -S all -F path=/dev/sd* -k storage_commands </code> ---- ==== 2. Hardware Defense Preparation ==== **a. Choose Your Weapons** * **SSDs > HDDs**: Rotating disks are ticking time bombs. * **Vibration Dampening**: Mount drives on rubber grommets; use server racks with shock absorption. * **Faraday Cages**: Protect against EMPs, rogue RF signals, and nosy pigeons. **b. Environmental Controls** * **Temperature**: Keep drives below 40°C (104°F). * **Humidity**: Aim for 40–60% to prevent tape swelling or static discharge. * **Fire Suppression**: Use inert gas (e.g., FM-200), not water. ---- ==== 3. Incident Response Training ==== **a. Emergency Protocol** - **Evacuate**: If hardware makes noises like a dying TIE fighter, RUN. - **Kill Power**: Use the big red button (literally install one). - **Call for Help**: Have emergency contacts for hardware vendors, lawyers, and therapists. **b. Forensic Documentation** * **Photos**: Capture evidence of shrapnel, smoke, or suspicious ''sudo'' activity. * **Logs**: Preserve ''dmesg'', ''journalctl'', and command history. ---- ==== 4. Regular Incident Drills ==== **a. Quarterly "Disaster Day"** * Simulate scenarios: * **Disk Ejection**: Practice duck-and-cover maneuvers. * **Rogue SCSI Commands**: Role-play saying “I told you so” politely. * **Reward Survivors**: Give out "I Survived ''<nowiki>rm -rf /*</nowiki>''" stickers. **b. Tabletop Exercises** * Discuss hypotheticals: * //"What if the CEO’s cat walks into the server room?"// * //"How to negotiate with a tape drive that’s unionizing?"// ---- ==== 5. Neighborhood Relationship Management ==== **a. Apology Baskets** * Include: * Earplugs (for server noise complaints). * Safety goggles (for flying disk shrapnel). * A fruitcake (as a peace offering). **b. Community Safety** * **Shared Alerts**: Notify neighbors before testing ''<nowiki>eject --force</nowiki>''. * **Window Blast Shields**: Install in buildings downrange of your server room. ---- ==== 6. Hard Disk "Defragment" (Post-Apocalypse Edition) ==== **a. Physical Recovery** * **Shrapnel Collection**: Use tongs, not bare hands. * **Data Séance**: Hire a data recovery priest to chant ''dd_rescue'' over platter fragments. **b. Prevention** * **RAID 60**: Because RAID 5 is for optimists. * **Backups**: Follow the 3-2-1 rule: 3 copies, 2 media types, 1 offsite (preferably on Mars). ---- ==== 7. Bonus: Critical Skills for Survival ==== **a. Vendor Management** * **Demand Firmware Audits**: Ask, //"Does this update include a ‘no orbital launch’ clause?"// * **Warranty Kung Fu**: Master phrases like //"This is clearly an act of firmware."// **b. Mental Resilience** * **Meditation**: Chant ''<nowiki>sudo rm -rf /calm</nowiki>''. * **Peer Support**: Join a support group: //"Hi, I’m Bob, and I once typed ''<nowiki>:wq!</nowiki>'' on a production DB."// **c. Legal Preparedness** * **Liability Waivers**: Have users sign //"I promise not to ''<nowiki>--force</nowiki>'' without adult supervision."// * **Insurance**: Ensure coverage for //"Kinetic data redistribution events."// ---- ==== 8. Final Wisdom ==== * **The Ops Mantra**: *"Trust no SCSI command. Fear all vibrations. Hug your backups."* * **Remember**: Your greatest tool is **humility**—because even ''sudo'' can’t fix a disk embedded in the ceiling. ---- **Appendices** * **Glossary**: [SCSI = Slowly Comprehending Systemic Implosions] * **Command Cheatsheet**: [Safe ''tar'' commands, verified by survivors] ---- //May your uptime be high, your fragments few, and your neighbors forgiving.// 🛠️🔧
Server_Operations_Survival_Guide.txt
· 最后更改: 2025/02/01 22:23 由
whr
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