Server_Operations_Survival_Guide
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| + | ====== Server Operations Survival Guide: Lessons from the Trenches of Chaos ====== | ||
| + | |||
| + | //"In the world of server ops, physics is your frenemy, and SCSI commands are Schrödinger's cat—handle with care."// ((AI-generated. See [[:Powerful Storage Devices]] for full context.)) | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 1. Safe Interaction with the Operating System ==== | ||
| + | **a. Command-Line Safety** | ||
| + | * **Verify Before Execution**: | ||
| + | <code bash> | ||
| + | man [command] # RTFM (Read The Fantastic Manual) | ||
| + | </code> | ||
| + | * **Avoid "Dangerously" Flags**: Never trust ''<nowiki>--force</nowiki>'', ''<nowiki>--eject-dangerously</nowiki>'', or ''<nowiki>--launch-mode</nowiki>'' without peer review. | ||
| + | * **Sandbox First**: Test risky commands in a VM or disposable container. | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Monitoring & Logging** | ||
| + | * **Watch for Trouble**: | ||
| + | <code bash > | ||
| + | dmesg -wH # Real-time kernel logs | ||
| + | sudo tail -f /var/log/syslog | ||
| + | </code> | ||
| + | * **Audit Everything**: | ||
| + | <code bash > | ||
| + | auditctl -a always,exit -S all -F path=/dev/sd* -k storage_commands | ||
| + | </code> | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 2. Hardware Defense Preparation ==== | ||
| + | **a. Choose Your Weapons** | ||
| + | * **SSDs > HDDs**: Rotating disks are ticking time bombs. | ||
| + | * **Vibration Dampening**: Mount drives on rubber grommets; use server racks with shock absorption. | ||
| + | * **Faraday Cages**: Protect against EMPs, rogue RF signals, and nosy pigeons. | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Environmental Controls** | ||
| + | * **Temperature**: Keep drives below 40°C (104°F). | ||
| + | * **Humidity**: Aim for 40–60% to prevent tape swelling or static discharge. | ||
| + | * **Fire Suppression**: Use inert gas (e.g., FM-200), not water. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 3. Incident Response Training ==== | ||
| + | **a. Emergency Protocol** | ||
| + | - **Evacuate**: If hardware makes noises like a dying TIE fighter, RUN. | ||
| + | - **Kill Power**: Use the big red button (literally install one). | ||
| + | - **Call for Help**: Have emergency contacts for hardware vendors, lawyers, and therapists. | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Forensic Documentation** | ||
| + | * **Photos**: Capture evidence of shrapnel, smoke, or suspicious ''sudo'' activity. | ||
| + | * **Logs**: Preserve ''dmesg'', ''journalctl'', and command history. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 4. Regular Incident Drills ==== | ||
| + | **a. Quarterly "Disaster Day"** | ||
| + | * Simulate scenarios: | ||
| + | * **Disk Ejection**: Practice duck-and-cover maneuvers. | ||
| + | * **Rogue SCSI Commands**: Role-play saying “I told you so” politely. | ||
| + | * **Reward Survivors**: Give out "I Survived ''<nowiki>rm -rf /*</nowiki>''" stickers. | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Tabletop Exercises** | ||
| + | * Discuss hypotheticals: | ||
| + | * //"What if the CEO’s cat walks into the server room?"// | ||
| + | * //"How to negotiate with a tape drive that’s unionizing?"// | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 5. Neighborhood Relationship Management ==== | ||
| + | **a. Apology Baskets** | ||
| + | * Include: | ||
| + | * Earplugs (for server noise complaints). | ||
| + | * Safety goggles (for flying disk shrapnel). | ||
| + | * A fruitcake (as a peace offering). | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Community Safety** | ||
| + | * **Shared Alerts**: Notify neighbors before testing ''<nowiki>eject --force</nowiki>''. | ||
| + | * **Window Blast Shields**: Install in buildings downrange of your server room. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 6. Hard Disk "Defragment" (Post-Apocalypse Edition) ==== | ||
| + | **a. Physical Recovery** | ||
| + | * **Shrapnel Collection**: Use tongs, not bare hands. | ||
| + | * **Data Séance**: Hire a data recovery priest to chant ''dd_rescue'' over platter fragments. | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Prevention** | ||
| + | * **RAID 60**: Because RAID 5 is for optimists. | ||
| + | * **Backups**: Follow the 3-2-1 rule: 3 copies, 2 media types, 1 offsite (preferably on Mars). | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 7. Bonus: Critical Skills for Survival ==== | ||
| + | **a. Vendor Management** | ||
| + | * **Demand Firmware Audits**: Ask, //"Does this update include a ‘no orbital launch’ clause?"// | ||
| + | * **Warranty Kung Fu**: Master phrases like //"This is clearly an act of firmware."// | ||
| + | |||
| + | **b. Mental Resilience** | ||
| + | * **Meditation**: Chant ''<nowiki>sudo rm -rf /calm</nowiki>''. | ||
| + | * **Peer Support**: Join a support group: //"Hi, I’m Bob, and I once typed ''<nowiki>:wq!</nowiki>'' on a production DB."// | ||
| + | |||
| + | **c. Legal Preparedness** | ||
| + | * **Liability Waivers**: Have users sign //"I promise not to ''<nowiki>--force</nowiki>'' without adult supervision."// | ||
| + | * **Insurance**: Ensure coverage for //"Kinetic data redistribution events."// | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | ==== 8. Final Wisdom ==== | ||
| + | * **The Ops Mantra**: *"Trust no SCSI command. Fear all vibrations. Hug your backups."* | ||
| + | * **Remember**: Your greatest tool is **humility**—because even ''sudo'' can’t fix a disk embedded in the ceiling. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | **Appendices** | ||
| + | * **Glossary**: [SCSI = Slowly Comprehending Systemic Implosions] | ||
| + | * **Command Cheatsheet**: [Safe ''tar'' commands, verified by survivors] | ||
| + | |||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | //May your uptime be high, your fragments few, and your neighbors forgiving.// 🛠️🔧 | ||
Server_Operations_Survival_Guide.txt · 最后更改: 2025/02/01 22:23 由 whr
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